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Therapy for men in Colorado
When rubbing dirt on it just does not cut it.
For many men, fixing things is in our DNA. From the leaky sink to cooking a steak, it is the way in which we handle the world. When we perceive a problem, we jump to action. We determine what the problem is, put together a plan to fix it, and get after it. But what happens when we run into a problem that we cannot fix on our own? Let’s work together to make therapy for men in Colorado the next problem to solve.
Studies show that of all people in the US seeking therapy, only 1 out of 3 of them are male. Furthermore, fewer men seek counseling for mental health issues than women. Men are more likely to experience addiction and make up around 75% of all completed suicides. These numbers suggest that there is significant pain going with men. Going unaddressed, some men are trying to resolve that pain with dangerous and fatal consequences.
Men in Colorado
Colorado ranks as one of the healthiest states in the US. However, our suicide rate is one of the highest in the nation. Most adults (90%) in Colorado report being in excellent, very good, or good health. The mental health of men is so concerning that the Colorado Department of Public Health and Environment recently identified a statewide goal to address it. They seek to “Reduce the burden of depression in Colorado by improving screening and referral practices and reducing the stigma of seeking help for depression … especially among men of working age” in their first assessment and planning cycle (approximately 2011-2017). Despite our pride in health, getting men into therapy in Colorado is still lacking.
Reasons for Reluctance
There are many reasons that an individual may avoid counseling. For men specifically, this includes the norms of society, aversion to talking about problems, or simply downplaying the symptoms. Historically, men have been conditioned to be “manly” and “strong.” Which means anger is the only socially accepted emotion to display. The concept of talking about personal issues and expressing emotional distress as one does in counseling is entirely at odds with the cultural norms of our forefathers. One study suggests that men are 24% less likely than women to have visited a doctor with the past year. Forget talking about emotions. As men, we refuse to talk even about our physical health. According to NAMI, the average person waits 11 years from symptom onset to engaging treatment. This is too long if we want to change the statistics.
Resistance to Seeking Therapy for Men
Strength is defined as the “ability to produce force against an external force.” Perhaps this has been the wrong concept all along. Depression is an immovable wall. The harder you push against depression, the harder it pushes back. As men, we should be seeking to practice courage. Courage is defined as the “ability to confront fear, danger, uncertainty, or intimidation.” Being courageous implies a willingness to be vulnerable. In other words, standing up to those fears that threaten to hold us back and/or keep us down. Counseling requires the same willingness to lean into uncertainty. However, if we can choose to practice courage and engage in counseling, we do not have to travel this path alone.
An Attitude Adjustment at Altitude
Our instinct to problem solve is not the problem. Therefore, there we can use that skill to our advantage. Once we take the opportunity to be courageous, we can perceive our emotional pain, stress, etc. as a problem that we can solve. But we need to acknowledge that there is a problem to be solved before taking any kind of action. How can we know the toilet is broken if we never go into the bathroom?
Signs and Symptoms
Luckily (or unluckily), our bodies come equipped with built in alarms for stress and emotional disfunction. For men specifically, we often report symptoms that may not necessarily include sadness. Fatigue, irritability, and loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities can often be signs and symptoms of stress. More globally, the symptoms can also include problems in sleep, appetite, weight, excitability, sexual function, irritability, and/or the use of alcohol/drugs. A problem in any one of these areas can signal something more than just a physical problem. This is where our problem solving strength kicks in. Once identified, we are ready to take the right course of action to address the problem, rapid results can often be experienced.
Act Today
No matter who you are, I challenge you to do something courageous today. Be vulnerable with a friend. Even if that is something as simple as telling them how much you care about them. Better yet, be vulnerable with yourself. Acknowledge some recent pain you have experienced. If you continue to cause yourself more suffering by fighting against the pain, you are only contributing to your own distress. By being mindful of how you think and speak with youself, you are reframing your perspective towards a problem that has actual solutions. Change does not happen in a day, but therapy for men can start today.
References for Men in Therapy in Colorado
Mental Health By the Numbers | NAMI: National Alliance on Mental Illness
https://www.mhanational.org/infographic-mental-health-men
2017 CHAS DESIGN FINAL for Web.pdf (coloradohealthinstitute.org)
State Summaries Colorado | 2020 Annual Report | AHR (americashealthrankings.org)